A to Z challenge: day 5
Theme: notebooks
The word “elegant” was just to please my daughter.
I have a madness that is incurable. All those notebooks that I buy and don’t use. I look at this picture and there is only 2 of them I bought myself. The other ones were given, as gifts. Well…
In some of them, there is only a date and a few words. In some others, I have lists of things I needed to buy the kids, for camps or whatever, also with dates. That way I can keep track of time…
Why would I keep them empty? I was 14 years old, when my dad threw a notebook in my face, yelling all my secrets for everyone to hear. Remember when you were 14? All the thoughts and feelings you wanted to keep for yourself, and writing them helped you make some sense out of it? After that episode, most of my notebooks stayed empty…
Sometimes I find it wild that I would keep a thing, that I finally find useless, because it doesn’t become “flat” in the middle, or I don’t like the colour, or it doesn’t feel… inspiring to write in them.
These notebooks have all one thing in common, on some page at the beginning, I ramble about writing and my renewed commitment to write EVERYDAY, in THIS notebook. I always thought that I would look cool in a café with THAT notebook, feeling like a writer from another era, who had only paper and ink to connect with the world.
But I keep them, because I would never throw away a notebook, just in case…
Tomorrow : Finding characters in notebooks (why would they hide in there?)
With great respect!
A.
I love that purple one – I just posted about my notebook obsession…ahem, make that intense fondness 😉 I can understand the pressure to get the right words down at the right time, and the desire to have a notebook with you “just in case”.
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“intense fondness” I love that! 🙂
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Wow, your dad threw a notebook at your and scream your secrets. I know parents lose their cool from time to time, but this sounds bordering on emotionally abusive. I can understand why you keep the notebooks, it might be a way of healing from that horrible memory. Also, sometimes it is just nice to have a pretty notebook, and you might use it one day. If I got rid of everything people said to, I would have regretted it. For instance, people always said that you need to get rid of clothes you have not worn for a year, but I just never bare to part with some nice clothes I had bought years again. In my late twenties I was eating more fatty junk type foods I had never had before, and my soda consumption had escalated. I put on a lot of weight over the years, but in my early thirties I realized I wanted this to change. So I did, and I lost weight. Then I had clothes to wear since I had kept the ones from years ago. If I had got rid of these clothes then I would have nothing to wear. I also have some nice palm tree notebooks on my shelf, which are empty, but I want to keep these. I could write in these one day, and who is say I will not.
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Ahah! It was not “bordering”… It was abuse. One of the many ways my dad would invent to keep me on track.
I think that why we should get rid of stuff sometimes it’s to clear the way for new things to come in our life. Good for you if you had a use in the future for your clothes. IN the end, let’s just do what’s makes us happy! 🙂 ❤
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I’m in love with notebooks too – but I fill mine up pretty quickly! Good luck in the challenge.
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Thank you!
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