The Fire Within

I don’t think I ever talked to you about this course I’m taking. It’s a ten month-long course, with 5 intensive weekends and practice work in between weekends. It’s called the Wisdom Unlimited Course and it is fabulous. It’s my second time in the course — I did it in 2008 and created amazing results in my life. This time I registered with only one question in mind: What’s next?

What’s next in my life? My children are grown-ups, my parents are dead and I quit my job because of grief and exhaustion. What’s next when you are single and 40 something. The beginning of an answer started to appear after the first and second weekend.

• I got that I need to clear up space in my mind and heart, and my environment.
• I needed to forgive myself for many things that I did or didn’t do in my life.
• Remind myself of all the lists of TO DO’s that I will never do. And be okay with it.
• My happiness is linked to being connected with people, not hiding from those who love me.
• It was okay to be where I was and okay to take the time I needed.
• That what everybody else’s need is not necessarily what I need.

The third weekend, I traveled to another city. Things we’re unfolding and a great piece was cleared up.

• I got that I was waiting on life to show up and be great without me doing anything. I was tired, hurt and empty with no more energy. Life owed me after all the struggles and deception.  A new clear view emerged after that. I became the creator again.
• I got a new taste for life and acceptance for myself.
• New actions arose and I got to move forward again.
• I declared that “I was back”. Body, Mind, Heart and Soul.

My friend Janet and new business partner challenged me to “share” in front of the whole group during the weekend. I am the “covert sharer”. I share only with the people I want. I never raise my hand, except for some short answers to short questions.

I got up and shared the last day. Right before, it felt like my whole mind and body got rewired through the conversation and insights of the weekend.

• I got that I am self-confident.
• That failure lives like a failure as long as I suffer alone with myself. Reaching out to loving and supportive people makes the hurting shorter and new openings can be experienced.
• I got that abundance in my life is linked to the quality of my conversations. If I talk about beauty, beauty will show up.
• I got that I am a successful mother.
• I can deal with anything.
• I can play and accomplish whatever I want.

The thing that hit me the most profoundly, in this course, is that I love people. I love them in their vulnerabilities. I love that human beings are resilient, determined, and fierce sometimes in getting what they want. I love that sometimes we can just give up and then come back again.

Picture of my fire place last week. I like that the flame seems to reach out to grab something.

The FIRE is back. I love you all.

With great respect and love!

A.