About 3 months ago, the doctor called me, and started the call by saying: “It’s not good news…”

I knew instinctively that she was going to tell me the cancer was back.

I had been having a dry cough for a while, that could have been mistaken for asthma. But the pressure on my lungs couldn’t be mistaken for anything else.

They found a few mestastasis in the lungs…

So…. cancer is back and with it a huge wave of emotions, decisions, doubts, and sarcasm.

A few weeks after that call, the oncologist put me on a treatment. Something to “prolong” life. No talks of cure, or remission.

Metastatic Breast Cancer is a dead end for women (and some men). Of course, and I will talk about it more later, life is not unidimensional. And since I have nothing to lose, I am willing to explore health from another point of view.

So, I swallowed the pills and took a deep dive in the shadow parts of myself getting to know PABLO (palboclib) and LOLAZ (letrozol).

The very first day, it hit hard. I could barely get out of bed, or prepare food. Eating was another challenge.

After a few days, I noticed that the hour before I took the next pills, I felt better, somehow.

I started to call that my Happy Hour. Twenty-hours of dreadful symptoms and exhaustion, for one hour of clarity and energy.

Each day.

This is how HAPPY HOUR WITH PABLO AND LOLAZ came into being.

And, it took a few more weeks to gather eneough strenght and energy to be able to come back to working and writing.

I am writing myself back to vibrant health.

There are so many questions and insights that come up. I felt the desire to come back to blogging.

If you’ve known me from before and I am just reappearing in your blog feed, Welcome back! I have missed you.

If you are connecting for the first time, Welcome. I am honored to meet you.

Since, they removed my right breast 4 years ago (almost to the day) I have been on a journey that took everything from me, mentally and physically. This time, I am shaken up spiritually.

So let’s see what Pablo and Lolaz will teach me.

I already learn that “It’s okay to not give a fuck”

Lesson learned the hard way.

I hope you’ll stick around.

With great respect and love!

A.

2 thoughts on “The Fearless Threesome

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