When I did chemotherapy four years ago I lost all my hair.
When I say all my hair. I mean ALL OF IT.
Not just on my head, but also on my arms, on my legs.
My eyebrows, my eyelashes. The annoying lady mustache. Pubic hair.
ALL OF IT.
I had a moment of despair when my hair started to fall off my scalp.
I took a few hours to cry.
I had so much attachment to it.
It was dreadful.
There is nothing I could do. It was just falling.
And then a few days later I noticed that I had no more eyebrows and my skin felt weird when I touched it.
It’s not because you know it will grow back that it’s not hard when it happens.
Please, if you know people who are losing their hair to chemo. Don’t tell them it will grow back and it’s nothing.
In the moment, I didn’t care if they would grow back.
After I went to the barbershop to shave them. I was ok. It felt like taking my power back over this.
Right now, with Pablo and Lolaz, I am not losing my hair.
But Pablo did a number on my eyebrows and I lost a few eyelashes.
A face with no eyebrows looks weird. Well, I look weird when I see my face.
There is a missing.
I got a crayon.
To color my face.
To add definition to my eyes.
I declare that eyebrows are important.
Whether you remove them for esthetic purposes or lose them to some medication, they are important to the balance of the face.
After four years of seeing my body change in numerous ways and my energy going up and down, feeling alive and normal is connected to the small things.
Instead of focusing on cancer as a whole.
I remember that I am a multidimensional being.
That I am not just cancer.
I am also a human being with desires and needs.
That I can get caught up in the appearances of things and that’s ok.
That coloring eyebrows on my face makes me smile.
And smilling feels sooooooooo gooooooood!
Even for just an hour.
A happy hour dancing with Pablo and Lolaz.
With great respect!